How wide is your capacity to be with others?

You are a high performer, a director, a manager, an executive or entrepreneur. You give your all, work hard and deal with people all day, everyday. They all want your guidance, your attention and a piece of you. They all come from different backgrounds with a variety of skills and personalities.

You either love them all too much and spread yourself thin or are on the verge of losing it, getting pulled in multiple directions. You even wake up some days wondering how you will deal with all of them again. You want a break and recognition.

If only you had it your way, everything would be so much better.

Perhaps.

Unless you are into dictatorship, having it your way all the time is not a sustainable path to getting ahead in your career. By ruling out people who do not think like you or blaming your performance or results on others, you will find your effectiveness in leadership suffering.

One thing I notice all of the greatest leaders we love have in common, is their wide capacity to be with others. First, they know they cannot succeed alone and second; they see how healthy and valuable it is to have people around who do not always think like them. It does not mean they do not have boundaries, will change what they believe or that everything will always be OK. They just know that with their openness of mind, growth will stem when being challenged.

When you are a leader, it is not about you anymore. It is the paradox of you being in the spotlight, yet working for something bigger than you. It becomes your responsibility to shine and lift others with you along the way. You become a vehicle for growth and a role model.

People will always make noise no matter where we are in our career. If you feel like that person I describe at the beginning, stop, breathe and start putting yourself in other people’s shoes. Seek to really understand where they all come from so you can become a better leader by challenging your own knowledge and help others succeed. You will become more compassionate, be able to develop others like no one else can and point them to the direction they will be most effective.  The more they succeed, the more you will too.

Everyone around us have strengths we fail to see because we get stuck with our own perspective. I have never seen anyone I have worked with that was deprived from strengths or qualities. None. They might not all be a fit for our missions, but they all have their value.

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Self-Expression Manifesto of the week: Growth stems from challenges we see with an open mind.

Join the conversation: What are you struggling the most with in your career when it comes to deal with your employees, employers or peers? What strategies have you used to overcome it?